The End of a Chapter: Saying Goodbye to My Infertility Story
Dear loyal readers, followers, supporters, sharers and more,
It’s been one heck of a ride since starting this blog. I’ve been on the radio twice and the national online news once and it’s been thrilling. When I began blogging, my intention was never to share my struggles with my infertility and miscarriages. It just so happened that one day I felt compelled to share an experience with you about one of our miscarriages that had happened two years prior. The response was unbelievable. Strangers from all over Canada sent me messages thanking me for speaking about a common but silent battle many women go through. Others shared their stories and together, we shared our sorrows and tears from across the keyboard. It has been a blessed and exhilarating experience for me and my family. Since then and since deciding to actively try to conceive again this summer, many of my blog posts (15 out of 44 to be exact!) have been focused around my infertility and subsequent issues around that. It’s been cathartic and healing to share my story with many in hopes that I can impact others, even if it’s only one person.
Does life get any better?
However, I’ve been worried about being compartmentalized into the niche of “infertility blogger” and have never wanted that title despite my need to share my struggles so openly. I attempted to diversify and share other aspects of my life and passions along the way but ultimately, most of my infertility posts were the ones that were most impactful.
As a writer, that’s obviously the goal: to impact and hopefully change the reader’s life for the better.
It’s a beautiful and humbling feeling to know your own pain helped heal another’s pain. But the time has come: I’m retiring this story. I won’t be writing about infertility anymore (unless something drastic happens).
This decision is for three reasons:
- My husband is a very private man and although he has supported my blog and my posts, he is becoming increasingly uncomfortable with having his life shared with strangers. I have to respect and honour his feelings as he has so humbly set his aside for almost a year. He believes in my writing and knows that I can still make impactful changes without divulging personal aspects of our life together.
- The infertility battle is swirling with negative energy. It’s impossible to change your story to one of positivity, growth and change if one is still caught up in the maelstrom of negative beliefs, stories and emotions. My story is no longer a sad, draining one of, “I have recurrent miscarriages” or “I have secondary infertility” but one that is uplifting and happy: “I am a woman trying to do her best to be the best she can for the better good for all.” I am no longer allowing my identity to be defined by this negative energy.
- I want to put out high frequency energy to all and that includes through my writing.
- I am healed. I accomplished what I set out to do: heal through sharing my story. I don’t feel the same way I did when I first started What We Don’t Do. I no longer get upset at pregnancy announcements or feel sad when my period comes. I don’t crave a baby like I did for years previous. I have found my peace. I am content with our family of three; we love and appreciate the life we’ve built and we now feel that a second baby isn’t necessary to enhance this life. If we are blessed to conceive naturally and flukishly again down the road, then that’s amazing but that urge and deep seated need for a baby is gone. And thankfully so; it was ruining my life, my husband’s life and probably our daughters too. While I still am open to be there for women struggling with their fertility, present moment me can’t relate anymore. I have decided to water my proverbial “side of the grass” and appreciate what I have now rather than focusing on what I don’t have as I did for so long.
So from here on out, it’ll be posts that relate to our new story. I’d love to share more ideas and thoughts surrounding women and our mutual interests and struggles; I want to help empower them through positive messages of love, wisdom and acceptance. I want to share my thoughts on parenting and the environment and the Universe. I want to give you food recipes we experiment with and DIY beauty product recipes. I want to unite women in other ways: through community, love and connection. Like I’ve always said, united, we rise. Let’s rise up once again in a new, loving light.
Gratitude, love, light and peace to you all,